Fiona Apple Talks Arrest in Texas

Fiona Apple Arrest ResponseFiona Apple took the stage in Houston, Texas last night for a performance, but before the music began, she had an elephant in the room to address: this week’s arrest and overnight incarceration in Sierra Blanca, TX. Usually we stick to the tunes around here, but given how much we adore the many great kiss-off lyrics in Apple’s catalog, her scathing, decidedly cryptic reaction seems appropriate to the conversation. (Who knows, perhaps this event might end up in a song one day.) First, though, Fiona has an apology for “the guy who runs the jail.”

If I may do a review… The guy, he’s a real decent guy, he’s a good guy. I want to apologize to him. I’m not going to say his name because I know he’s not interested in fame or anything like that. He takes pride in what he does. He is respected by his fellow workers. I only met him yesterday morning and I’m apologizing to him for being… attitude-y… and saying that I didn’t trust him — ’cause I didn’t —  but by the end of the day I did.

As for “four of you out there,” however, Apple has harsher words:

Most of the people were very nice to me. There are four of you out there, and I want you to know that I heard everything you did. I wrote it all down with your names and everything you did and said stupidly thinking that I couldn’t hear or see you. I then ripped the paper up, but not before I encoded it. I got two lock boxes — we’ll call them Holding Cell 1 and Holding Cell 2. In Holding Cell 1 is the encoded version of the shit that you did that I know isn’t appropriate, and probably illegal. In Holding Cell 2 is the decoder. I’m the only one who holds the key. And you and I will be intimate forever because I will hold that secret forever. Unless of course the celebrity that you had so much interest in that you wanted to accuse me of bringing up while you laughed at me all night? Unless you’re interested in being a celebrity, I’ll make you fucking famous anytime you ask and I’ll open up those boxes. Until then, stay in your fucking holding cell.

 

40 thoughts on “Fiona Apple Talks Arrest in Texas”

  1. 749854 873774Im not positive exactly why but this internet internet site is loading incredibly slow for me. Is anyone else having this concern or is it a dilemma on my finish? Ill check back later and see if the issue still exists. 585311

  2. 271320 838935I think this is among the most vital info for me. And im glad reading your post. But wanna remark on couple of general points, The website style is perfect, the articles is genuinely wonderful : D. Excellent job, cheers 854422

  3. 617253 209015This douche bag loves his illegal bretheren because hes a itiaen of the world and we ought to be ashamed of ourselves I got news for you Asswipe get your asswiping ass back to the craphole exactly where you came from with all of your illegal beaners 734583

  4. 888172 409323Oh my goodness! an excellent write-up dude. Thanks a lot Even so Im experiencing dilemma with ur rss . Do not know why Struggle to register for it. Can there be any person obtaining identical rss issue? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx 295945

  5. 699613 708675Im not positive exactly why but this internet website is loading extremely slow for me. Is anyone else having this problem or is it a issue on my finish? Ill check back later and see if the issue still exists. 698942

  6. Pingback: Funny videos
  7. Pingback: Big Bass Bonanza
  8. Pingback: cinemarule
  9. Pingback: massage Bangkok

Leave a Comment